Whenever you're picking a new name for yourself, you have to think and think and think. It has to be perfect because people will be calling you by it forever. We never think about that with our birth names; they're just kinda there.
So when I was picking a male name for myself, I had to think for a really long time. I thought about just masculinizing my name and making it Daniel or David or something, but it didn't sound like me. I wanted something that wasn't normal. I mean, I've lived for 19 years as "Danica," having to explain how that's spelled and where it came from (slavic, means "morning star") and what made my parents pick it (don't ask me!) and hell, just being "David" didn't ring a bell. Nothing about the name had anything to do with me.
I went through a couple of baby name pages looking at the meaning of names. Have you ever noticed how many guy names seem to be last names? Or be named after ROCKS? What's that about?
Anyway, I found that "Keegan" means "little fiery one," which sounded appropriate because I'm little... I'm 5'2" and really petite. One of my friends, contemplating what I'd be like as a guy, exclaimed, "You're smaller than a WOMAN!" And she was right. And my pagan activist group is called Fire; it's an element that appeals to me. Hm.
Then a friend, Cat, was looking through pages of Irish names and suggested "Aidan." It means "fire" too, or something like it. It resonated with me better than anything else so far; I tried the name "Aidan Keegan Nuccitelli" in a numerology page I found, and it came out okay. When I added "Dinn" as a nickname, because I'd used it before as a handle on TinyTIM and fancied being called Dinn informally, it came out even better.
I've started changing my name to Aidan on online forums, and got a few of my friends to call me "Aidan" or "Danny" (short for both Aidan and Danica) in "real life." I like the way Aidan falls together with my old name; it can be aiDAN/DANica; someone poitned out today that it could go the other way around too, like danicA/Aidan. danicaidan. kind of nice.
The combination "aidanica" also has encoded meaning; it's my name with an "ai" suffix, which reminds me of the Ai! Ai! girls in Hothead Paisan... the liddle kindergarten girls who yelled ai! ai! and had knives and kicked ass. My girlfriend speculates that Hothead might have multiple personality disorder, or maybe Diane DiMassa does; she has personality #2, and the ai! ai! girls sort of appear out of nowhere and behave like another aspect of Hothead, and she has lots of symptoms that might point to it. Small digression.
I was in the car with Jen-my-ex, also trans, on the way to TrannyFest together, and suddenly the name "Kenny" came to mind. And it really resonated. But I didn't want to give up Aidan for some random-ass name; but I liked being called it. So I decided that "Aidan Kenneth Nuccitelli" worked fine. I occasionally think "Kerrigan" would be a good last name, but I don't want to change my last name. Although "Aidan Nuccitelli," written down, does look too much like my grandfather's name... like, I don't know why it reminds me of Amerigo. funky, huh?
I lie in bed at night sometimes and feel sad that I won't be called Danica anymore. Unlike most of my friends when I was younger, I really liked my name. It could be written with every color of the rainbow, one for each letter, and it was individual and creative and all the good things I was. Plus I went to a summer school program called Morning Star, which rocked. I feel like, "poor danica! she won't be invoked anymore!" then I think, "but I'm danica. and people still call me that sometimes, and I can choose whether to be sad over the name change or not. nobody's being hurt here."
My bro, Star, doesn't think that "Aidan" suits me... so I was like, "well,
suggest something else then!" Ze thought about it for a while and came up
with "Derek." It means "Gifted Ruler," but it comes from Theodoric which
means "People's Rule."
I like Derek cause, well, my brother gave it to me and that's special. When I did a numerology report on it, the name "Derek Aidan Kenneth Nuccitelli" worked pretty well.
Wow, someone put "Deryck" down here as their favorite baby name "because it represents the most beautiful baby in the world...and I also like the spelling...." (but I don't!) Someone put "Journey" down as a good name... but that might be a little too much of a conversation-starter there. I like "Derek" because I want to have a good strong normal name in there; that's part of why I liked "Kenneth." Something grounded and something individual.
"Braden" is sort of pretty.... it means "broad hillside" or "salmon. Or "Drew." Or "Decker," that could be a good Derek-alternative if I needed one. Some people are just like "I like this name cause it's my son's name." makes me worry about them.... I especially like the explanation of why Miranda is a good name: "It's different yet very unique." Uh-huh!
Four people on the babyzone site so far have listed "Aidan" as their favorite boys' name, (and one for a girl's name), cause it's "different" and "a good strong name for a baby boy" and so on. There was an article in there about how someone liked the name "Annie" cause it makes you smile when you say it (because of the eeeee ending); I think "Danny" is a good nickname because of that.
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